Hello Moms, let me introduce myself...

I am first and foremost a fellow mother! I have two beautiful boys, ages five & three. Both are diagnosed Autistic. I am soon to be 35 years young. Just this year, I gave up my career as an Account Manager in Tech & Licensed Esthetician , to be a Stay at Home Mom! To be clear this was never my dream, I have loved all of my jobs, and most of all maintaining an income. However, my boys needed me more than I could have ever planned for. We thankfully have a hard working provider, that is graciously busting his ass to support us.

If I could describe my personality to you, it would be this: Real. Raw. Rugged. Relatable. I am unfiltered, especially in my choice of adjectives, and I am, and always will be, brutally honest. My friends would tell you I am a problem solver, that I run my life like a business, and best of all, I can be trusted with their deepest secrets. I will always show up for the people that love and care about us, I am so grateful to have them in this messy life.

Our Autism Journey

What is Autism? Autism is a different way of experiencing the world. Not broken, not less, just wired uniquely. My boys names are Julian (age five) and Luca (age three). Both boys were diagnosed Autistic around the age of two. We started Early Intervention around 18 months due to a regression with Julian and a severe delay with Luca. As ironic as it sounds, the boys are entirely different. Opposite ends of the big ole spectrum. What one struggles with, is the others strengths. So much for me thinking I was an expert when the second kid came along!

Fun Facts About the Boys

• Julian loves to line toys up: Many children with autism prefer order over chaos. It's common for them to have very special interests, that they play with just so.

• Luca never stops moving: Many autistic kids engage in repetitive movements or "stim" by rocking, jumping, toe walking etc. Luca does them all.

• Julian is basically an olympic athlete: He has crazy capabilities when it comes to escaping and/or climbing. He is fast as shit, and will elope if given a half a second.

• Luca is obsessed with Woody: Yes, from Toy Story. Legit, Woody is an extension of Lucas body who helps feed him, play with toys, and even gets kisses (we don't even get kisses)

  
  

This is only a small handful of the uniqueness my Autistic kids display, there is so much more.

Our lives were never the same

Once you realize that your child is no longer on the path to typical progress, everything changes. Your hopes, dreams, and expectations of parenting hit the trash faster than you hit the epidural button during delivery.

All those books you read, classes you took, milestones you tracked....they all become worthless piles of shit.

Your brain sits quite a while, stuck on the reboot button, trying to understand what the fuck just happened and whats the plan to move forward?

Insert <Early Intervention>

Early intervention started with getting us in-home therapies for specific delays. This is Speech Therapy, Special Education, Occupational Therapy and/or Physical Therapy. Both of my boys got all four. This tells you just how behind they really were. Let me be the first to tell you just how fun working a full time job is, as well as having therapist appointments every day of the week. Talk about stress.

Insert <The Shame>

I didn't tell a single soul when our first kid was diagnosed. I was straight up delusional, thinking he would magically catch up, and this would all be a mistake. The time passed, the delays stayed, and his "stims" got stronger.

Insert < 22 Months Later>

Luca was born. My boys are only 22 months apart, and I was pregnant before we got Julian's Autism diagnosis. This felt like redemption in a way, but also this was the height of Julian's struggles in regard to Autism, so it was pure exhaustion.

For those who don't know...there is a 20% chance to have another kid with Autism.

We are that 20%, as Luca was also severely delayed, which resulted in his diagnosis.

Insert <Coming to Terms>

With now two kids on the spectrum, there wasn't much left to be delusional about. This was the sit and sulk phase, of how the fuck did this happen to us, let alone twice. The blaming of anything and everything we thought might be toxic, or dare I say Tylenol. (for fucks sake- its not Tylenol folks)

Insert <Research Overload>

I am not a sit around and sulk kinda gal, at least not for long! If there is an answer I will fucking find it. And if God couldn't be more cruel, he gave us the diagnosis that has literally, no answer. I still read the studies, ordered the books, listened to the podcasts, delayed vaccinations, bought the methylated vitamins, took out dairy & gluten. You name it. Patience has never been my strong suit, and waiting for these "remedies" to help had me banging my head on the floor (like Luca does). Am I Autistic? Joke.

Insert <Autism is a Variation in how the Brain works>

This is called Neurodivergence. Brains are naturally varied, there is no one brain type. This is more understood in those diagnosed with ADHD. I figured it out! I just needed to understand how their brain worked and then I could figure out how to help them progress.

We Needed to make Accommodations

I started to identify triggers for both boys in our environment. Bright lights, loud noises, most foods, changes in routine (even the slightest alteration), crowded areas or people touching them, the list goes on. I did everything in my power to eliminate the triggers that I could, but also teach them how to cope. (the hate I get for the pacifiers in my kids mouth is outrageous)

Insert <Spectrum Specific Items>

This is where I learned all about sensory needs, deep pressure needs, vitamins & supplements (my kids wont eat shit), trackers for elopement, fucking safety beds, SMO braces for toe walking, chew sticks (sounds like a dog toy), all things bubbles, viscose bamboo clothing, indoor trampolines, tall ass baby gates, triple locks on doors, recording safety cameras, giant jeep stroller wagons, spinning chairs, sensory swings, all natural pure rubber pacifiers, the choking device, AAC devices, THE LIST GOES ON.

Needless to stay we have tried it all

And we continue to try it all! They are growing and changing every year, and new challenges arise. I am giving it my absolute 100% to give them the best life possible. I am always doing research and always looking for things that can help us do this day after day. It is not easy, and I have found I am capable of much more than I ever thought.

The love runs deep

I have never loved anything more than my boys, but after finding even just a small community of other moms & families who just get it, I might love you guys just as much!

That is the reason I have created this page (and others)

If you are looking for answers, an ear, tips & tricks, products that help, advice that helps, I am here for you. I have seen it all, and I don't judge. I am imperfect, I have really really bad days. I lock myself in the bathroom on occasion, and other times I just yell. I am not a perfect mom, raising kids is hard. But I have found seeking out a community really does make things a lot easier. Follow my socials - OrbitingAutism. You can take a peek into just what I do, and don't hesitate to reach out.