Early Signs of Autism: What Parents Should Know

First of all, let me say...it's okay if you didn't see them. It's also okay if you saw them but chose to wait and see. And, its perfectly normal if there really wasn't many, if any, signs at all in the beginning. All kids develop on their own time, milestone apps aside, even neurotypical kids don't always fit the mold. I have two autistic boys, and the signs of Autism were vividly different for each.

I want to be the voice of reason, for parents in the early stages of development, that are questioning a possible diagnosis. Autism presents itself as the combination of signs. Not just one, or two. It is the layering of these signs, one on top of the other. Most of these "signs" are common in babies early on, what supports an Autism Diagnosis, is when these "signs" stick around well after a certain age.

Julian was Ahead of all the Milestone Apps

Julian, my now almost five year old, was progressing impeccably. Each months milestone, he was ahead of. Julian lifted his head and neck the very day he was born. I shit you not. He rolled over and scooted by four months, sat up on his own by five months, crawled at six months, and was running by ten months. He ate everything & anything I put in front of him. Julian spoke a minimum of five words by his first birthday. Dada, Mama, Baba, BiBi (Binki), and Eat. He was such a happy, giggly, fierce little toddler. There was nothing he couldn't do.

We started to see a Rapid Regression begin at 18 Months Old

Meltdowns: First it was the hour long meltdowns, it was as if his brain was on fire. It genuinely looked like that from the sidelines. We couldn't help him, and nothing calmed him down. This was more than a toddler tantrum, this had intensity and longevity.

Loss of Words: Julian stopped talking, he no longer had any words. He also stopped laughing. He looked very withdrawn, and "in his own world".

Loss of Eye Contact: Julian no longer would respond to his name, or engage in face to face play. He purposefully started to avoid eye contact, as well as ignore us.

Rejection to Foods: He started to reject previously loved food. He would gag & choke at just the sight of some items. He couldn't even stand them on his tray, or to touch them. He threw up often as we tried to get him to eat again.

Preference of Solitude: Julian would "hand lead" us to his crib in the middle of the day. He wanted to be in his crib, alone. He was perfectly content to be in there by himself. He loved the calm, quiet, and cozy feeling of the crib net.

Odd Hand to Eye Movements: Julian started to hold his hand up to his face. Palm out, index finger towards the outer corner of his eye. He would pause, and it almost seemed like he would "reset" himself. I learned later this was visual stimming. He was focusing himself when he felt out of control.

Toe Walking: This is a common one parents fear. Not all kids who toe walk are autistic. It is a sensory seeking behavior, and this can be present without Autism. Julian did always walk and run on his toes. He still does, and is quite athletic I must admit.

Hand Flapping: Closer to two and half years old, Julian started way more obvious hand flapping. In times of excitement or frustration he would hold his hands to his shoulders and rotate his wrists rapidly.

Lining Up of Toys: This is probably the family favorite. Julian always loved his lines of toys. They have become more particular and advanced as he gets older, but they started when he was very young.

There isn't always an obvious look to Autism. Without spending time with Julian, you wouldn't just assume he was Autistic. As the mom, I was concerned and seeking answers. Those close to me, downplayed the situation, second guessed my observations, and kept saying to just give it time. Deep down I knew, mom always knows.

Though believe it or not, I didn't even consider the term "Autism", even during Early Intervention. Not a single therapist or even our Pediatrician had mentioned it in the beginning. They all just called it a regression, and current delay.

Even four years ago, not many Autism Moms were sharing their journey. Instagram wasn't quite what it is today.

Upon googling Julian's signs and his regression, is where I first considered the diagnosis of Autism. Which is when we immediately signed up to be evaluated, and eventually diagnosed by Golisano's Behavioral Pediatrics.

I Always called Luca my Lazy Baby, he Never Hit a Single Milestone

Luca, my now almost three year old, just never progressed. He didn't have an obvious regression, because quite frankly he never had any skills to lose. The photo above is after his first birthday, and as you can see he was still crawling. To this day, we don't have a single word. The one thing my little Lukie Bear did do was eat. He loved food from the day he made it into this world. But that was basically the extent of it.

So when I tell Parents, Sometimes there are No Signs, this is What I Mean

There were some subtle oddities, and severe delays though.

Constant Ear Infections: Starting at six months old Luca had an ear infection every month until we got him tubes by a year and a half old.

Was he Deaf?: Luca never could respond to his name, ever. He ignored us 100% of the time. To the point we genuinely thought he was deaf, and got his hearing tested. (His hearing was totally fine)

Balance & Coordination: Luca didn't walk until almost 16 months old, and he still was very wobbly and off balance.

Toe Walking: Luca was so far up on his toes that it affected his core balance and coordination. We recently got SMO braces for his feet to remedy this.

Rocking: Luca would sit on all fours, and slam his butt on the ground over and over. This started mainly just at bedtime to put himself asleep, but it proggressivly became more often, until we hit all day long. This then progressed into slamming his back against walls over and over- to the current olympic speed skating move he does now.

We are only now, at almost three years old starting to see the more obvious Autism signs such as:

• Constant Jumping

• Running in Circles

• Squinting his Eyes

• Food Rejection

• Oral Stimming

• Night Wakings

• Purposeful Rejection of Affection

• Engaging us Only with His Back

• Hand Flapping

• Special Interests

• Piling of toys

• Hand Leading

Luca is my sensory seeker. He can almost never get his fill of rocking, jumping, and swinging. Being completely non-verbal, he leads us with our own hand to things he wants or needs.

As You Can See...Although Both Boys are Autistic, They Present with Very Different "Signs"

Autism sits on a very large spectrum. My kids happen to land on opposite ends. But this is why "signs" can be so frustrating to try to dissect in such young babies/toddlers.

I want you to leave this article feeling like you got some answers. It's what I would have wanted when researching my kids signs. So I am going to leave you with this...

The top 5 common Autism "Signs" that both of my diagnosed Autstic boys presented before the age of three: (all five signs were present together, stacked)

1. Little to no Eye Contact (Doesn't look when name is called)

2. Social Difficulties (Ignores you & others)

3. Toe Walking

4. Hand Stimming or Flapping

5. Hand Leading (Using our hands to touch or get things they want)

If you are here reading this, I know this is a challenging time for you. I know you desperately want answers, and ANY news almost even beats good news. I have been where you are, I have sat in your seat, and I have made it to the other side. I wish I could say it won't last forever, but Autism is forever. I promise it gets easier. Then harder. Then easier again. I am not a natural hugger, but I have a soft spot for moms who are doing their best, I wish I could hug you. You are worthy. You will get through this. They need you now more than ever.

I am an ear to listen and a shoulder to rest your mind, don't hesitate to reach out.

Welcome to the club, where we are all just simply Orbiting Autism.